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Excerpts from my gastric bypass blog
Guest columnist Gary
Titus begins his three-part series this week chronicling his
struggle with food addiction and obesity that subsequently led
to his decision to undergo successful gastric bypass surgery a
year ago.
By Gary Titus
Saturday, January 10, 2009:
I’m 51 years old and weigh 321 pounds. I’ve been morbidly obese
for at least 35 years. Diets, you name it, I’ve done it. I’d
lost more than 50 pounds at least a half-dozen times in my adult
life only to gain the weight back and then some. You may be
thinking: Why not just maintain a proper diet and exercise
program? Well, that’s just not my M.O. Obesity runs in my family
and I got the whole package, appetite and all. I began
researching bariatric surgery about four months ago. I had
spoken to my wife about it and she said, “Absolutely no way.”
So, I proceeded to follow a low-carb diet and a regular exercise
program. I went from 321 lbs. to 250 lbs. I was feeling great,
but it wasn’t long before I fell off the wagon and started to
slowly gain the weight back. I went back to my bad eating
habits, and exercise went from the top to the bottom of my
schedule. My weight gain and frustration were crippling me.
Getting to 321
pounds actually took a lot of work. It took a lot of mindless
eating. Have you ever sat in front of the TV with a large bag of
popcorn or potato chips, a box of cookies, or a pint of ice
cream? Of course you have. But do you do it all at the same
time? Well, that’s my M.O. I became a habitual nighttime closet
eater years ago. Working nights left me with a lot of alone
time. The portions grew out of control, probably since I moved
out of my family’s house at age 18. Even before that I always
ate everything on my plate and then some. I was always a member
of the double lunch club in high school, and I always knew where
my mom kept the stash of treats. I can analyze it many ways, but
the bottom line is that I am a compulsive overeater. Portions
and servings were not a part of my eating vocabulary; bags,
boxes, and dozens were. My M.O worked fine when I was single and
living alone, but after I got married I became more ashamed of
my overeating.
On a typical
binge I could walk into a fast food joint or a convenience store
and load up in no time at all, dropping $10 to $20. My food (or
drug) of choice has always been sweets. I have never met a sweet
I didn’t like. Chocolate, peanut butter, ice cream, and cookies
— I love them all, and all at the same time. A normal purchase
at 7-Eleven was a pint of Ben & Jerry’s peanut butter cup ice
cream, a couple of large packs of peanut butter Twix, and a
couple of Mrs. Fields soft cookies. I always managed to eat half
on the ride home, and then the other half downstairs alone in
front of the TV while everyone slept upstairs. I became good at
hiding the empty pints, wrappers, and packages. Not only did I
not want my wife to see them, I didn’t want to see them the next
day either. The guilt hurts a lot. Besides the obvious weight
gain, I got pretty good at hiding my habit from others. But even
if nobody else ever knew, I did, and I was ashamed.
So let’s call
it like it is: “Hi, I’m Gary, and I’m a food addict.” The good
news, I’m sober today, and I now deal with it one day at a time.
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